He pulls in to the old parking lot.
“Why are we here?” she asks.
He’s silent for a second. “’Cause I didn’t want to
tarnish any other…I have something to say.”
He shuts off the ignition and turns to her in the passenger seat.
She closes her eyes and nibbles her bottom lip,
bracing herself for what he has to say.
“I…I don’t want you to be my rebound person.”
“I…I don’t understand? Rebound?”
“Look, my feelings for you have gotten so intense,
I …I just want to be sure that they’re real. I mean…”
“You don’t want to see me anymore?”
He sees her jaw tremble and when her eyes open,
they’re glossed over with suppressed tears. “Just until I figure out if my
feelings are real…or if maybe they’re just me…you know, tired of being lonely.”
She turns to look out the windshield, unable to
look him in the eye. But she doesn’t say a word.
“It’s because you mean so much to me.” He tries to
reassure her. “I don’t want to start saying things that I end up not meaning
down the road.”
She closes her eyes unable to deal with this. She’s
lost so much already, she didn’t think she could handle losing him too. “Please
take me home,” she mutters so low he barely hears her.
“Please, sweetheart. I am not trying to hurt you.
If I don’t step back now, I’m afraid I might end up hurting you. I so don’t
want to do that.”
She manages to look in his direction briefly, but
then turns her attention straight ahead again. “I don’t…please…just take me
home.” She can’t help but shed her tears now. They begin pouring down her face.
She didn’t think she’d ever hurt again, after her husband died. That experience
had killed her. But now…hearing this man say he wanted to end things before
they even really began – it hurt. More than she could have imagined. Why? It
shouldn’t even matter. He was no one to her. Right?
He sighs, holding back his own tears, and starts
his car, whispering, “I’m sorry,” as he pulls out of the parking lot.
When they pull up to her house, she opens the car
door, but he stops her by grabbing her wrist. “I really am sorry. I’m falling
in love with you…and if those feelings are real, then I am happy to have found
love a second time in my life. But if these feelings are stemming from my prior
loneliness, wouldn’t you want to know that now? Before we take things any
further?”
She wipes her cheeks with her sleeve and nods,
still unable to say anything.
“I hope you’ll understand one day,” he whispers
before she strains a smile and closes the door.
With a heavy heart, he whispers goodbye and
watches her walk away.
